All Guys are the same??!

‘All guys are the same’. To be honest, my heart does a backflip anytime I hear women say this. It’s quite unfair how they generalize after one guy messes up. The fact that one guy did something bad or hurtful to you doesn’t mean ALL guys would do the same thing. And cos of this misconception, I’m going to be giving you my own classification of guys. I’m one of them so the probability that my classification would make any sense is really high.
I can’t say for sure how many classifications of guys are in the world because the classifications vary based on age group. To avoid any confusion, I’m going to stick to my own age group, that’s teenagers, 15-19 to be more precise.
For this category, there are quite a number of classifications but I’ll stick to the major and important ones.
1. The Confident Ones
From the name, it’s obvious the guys here are confident. These are the kind of guys that aren’t scared to approach a woman they’re interested in, regardless of the setting, environment or whatever. If they’re interested in a woman, these guys don’t care who’s around her or with her. Whether its the woman’s friends or family, the guy still goes.
Most of the time, these guys are seriously good-looking and dress really well. They’re the guys who take their outfits personal. And of course, there are some of them that don’t but they’re few. They make sure they look good irrespective of what they’re doing or where they are. They don’t care if there in a class, at a party, in church, playing soccer or any sport, taking a stroll, they make sure they look good. In some cases, they’re not good looking but their fashion sense makes it easy to overlook.
In actual sense, this trait gives them an edge when they approach a woman. I mean, imagine you’re a woman and a good looking guy that’s dressed really well makes a move onto you. Before he says anything, you’ll most likely be interested in him or you’ll be ready to give him your attention and listen to whatever he has to say.
Guys in this category, 90% of the time, possess the skill of talking with the opposite sex. Talking to girls or people in general comes easy to them. They do so with no nervousness or fear. These guys can be bosses in this aspect. When they want a girl, they go lengths to get her and they usually get her most of the time. They don’t waste much time because their reputation does most of the work.
The remaining 10% that don’t have this skill (talking with girls) seriously suck at keeping a conversation going with girls. Because of this, they cover up with their good looks and cool fashion sense. They use those to attract girls and a good number of girls won’t mind being with them because these guys are usually famous. This in turn gets the girls famous by association.
Girls find it hard to friend-zone these guys because they’re hard to. There are some evil women that friend-zone these kind of guys though. These kind of girls are…………. Let’s leave that for another day.
The upside of getting in a relationship with these kind of guys is quite obvious. You can get famous by association through them and they’re fun to talk to and they like to have a good time.
The downside is that, at times, it takes serious dedication to maintain a relationship with them. They can be so high maintenance. As I said earlier, these guys are famous. They, even if they don’t mean to, know a lot of people and definitely, a good number of women would be involved. For the really emotional girls that get jealous easily, these guys could be frustrating. They don’t mean to but they’re forced to be around many other girls and it can be annoying.
Well nothing’s perfect, so you just gotta manage.

2. The Technical Ones
I fancy this category a lot. These guys are semi-confident, confident in some cases. With respect to approaching a woman, these guys usually possess certain techniques they utilize. These techniques may vary from guy to guy but they’re mostly in the same vein. In a case where they’re in a public place and the probability of seeing the girl they want to approach another time is very low, they gather up confidence and go to the girl. The gathering of confidence takes a while because this is not how these guys operate naturally. When they eventually gather up confidence, they go to the girl and indirectly start a conversation. Topics of the conversation are mostly stuff regarding the environment they’re in. It may be about how the girl is enjoying the place, what she’s doing there or what she’s up to. These guys are seriously technical so they pay serious attention to detail.
In most cases, their confidence level isn’t so high so they can’t approach the woman directly. They devise tactics like intercepting the girl somewhere or using something they notice about her to get her attention. They take advantage of situations and meet their target woman through these situations. An example is this, picture a case where there’s a girl, in a class, showing signs of boredom, like drawing silly symbols on her note, playing with her hair or acting restless, the technical ones take note of these and use them as conversation starters.
30% of the time, these guys end up in the friend-zone. This is because they’re usually nice and sensitive. The real truth, most of the time, is that these guys put themselves in the friend-zone or even zone the babe. This makes the girls vulnerable. The technical guys take advantage of this and use this to get to know more about the girl. Because the girl doesn’t regard him as a threat, she opens up to him and tells him a lot of stuff. The technical guys use this to constantly build their rapport with women. When they’ve built their rapport to a very high level, they STRIKE. For those who don’t know, rapport means a relationship of mutual understanding and trust and agreement between people.
A technical guy doesn’t need up to two days to strike. And when he strikes, he strikes hard. He hits the girl where she’s most vulnerable and she has no choice but to let her guard down. They find it easy to get what they want a lot because they understand girls well.
These guys are serious fun to be around. Their sense of humor is extremely high. You can never have a conversation with a technical guy and not laugh. And when you laugh, you’ll laugh hard.
They can be sensitive. They understand you and know what you want or need. Deep inside, these guys are WOAH! Girls often underestimate them.
Relationships with these guys are usually cool and successful. They understand you and know when to do what and what to do when. The only problem you can have with this kind is that they can be hard to read. And in some cases, they’d hate publicity and prefer to keep their relationship and the details about them private.

3. The Split/Opposite Ones
The guys in this category are funny. They are usually guys that aren’t interested in women. They think they aren’t or pretend not to be but deep inside, they are. They usually lack confidence and find it hard to relate with the opposite sex. Their level of confidence can be seriously depressing. They get naturally zoned a good percentage of the time.
The way these guys operate is quite different. Guys in other categories may operate in the same way, the technical guys especially, but they’re not as good as these split guys at it.
These guys are the ones that base their relationships on a virtual basis. They are the ones that meet 90% of the girls they know online. They use platforms like Twitter or Facebook or text messaging or BBM to meet people and build their relationships with the opposite sex. They find it hard to use Skype for their operations because of their lack of confidence. Phone calls are also hard for these guys.
In the virtual world, social networks and the rest, these guys are KINGS. They are so skilled in the art. These guys often get the girls they want but it takes a lot of time usually. And the relationships they build are superficial.
So far, it may look like these guys do stuff the technical guys would do but there’s a major difference. This difference is that, in real life, the technical guys can handle their interaction with girls. The split/opposite guys cannot. This is where the name of this category comes from. Online, these guys are free and keep cool conversations. But in real life, they are absolute learners. They freeze at times and can say nothing when in real life situations. That’s the major trait and only downside sort of of these kind of guys.
A relationship with this kind of guys can turn out in so many ways. They are the best for long distance relationships. They are usually safe and like to keep everything about their relationship on the lowest key.
Sometimes, guys like this make a transition into a technical kind of guy. This is one of the reasons a relationship with a split guy can end in many ways. Other times, they can turn out to be confident guys later in future. Basically, a split/opposite guy is a work-in-progress.

According to Shovel, this is the right and only valid categorization of guys.

Most of the time, guys never actually fall under one particular category. They or we are usually a combination of any two or all three of the categories. This causes us to have complicated traits and makes us much harder to understand. That’s what we believe but the truth is that, no matter how complex or complicated we feel we are, girls still find it easy to see through us, sadly. Their brains have a filtering mechanism that makes them filter out the true nature of boys regardless of how hard he tries to pretend. Also, they read body language really well so it takes a really crazy guy to play a false persona. In the end, we guys still have to fall under one, two or all three of these categories.

With this, I hope I’ve clarified things. Girls have to ditch the belief that all guys are the same. I strongly believe that a girl that feels all guys are the same is the problem. Picture a case where I keep buying TV remote controls and put the same battery inside. I would be wrong to blame all the remote controls. It’s highly plausible that the problem is from the battery. How does this relate to what I’ve been saying? The girl is the battery and the boys are the remote controls. Sometime soon, I’ll be talking about the girls.

No apology for going AWOL :p

Follow @SeyiSoneye 🙂

How Shovel Sees It – Sarcasm

Hey People. What’s up with you guys? It’s been a while since I last dropped something here, almost a week now. Who liked my honesty? I’m talking about my last post. Two posts back, I promised I was going to show you pepper because of the way you people are and I did justice to my promise by actually showing you pepper in my last post. Yes, I’m a man of my word. So brethren, if you’re looking for a good person, I’m always here.

So last night, after a very long day, I got back to my room really tired and stressed. On a normal night, I would never sleep before 11pm, regardless of how stressful the day might have been. This night was different. As I got in my room, I fell on my bed, did a little tweeting and tried my best to sleep. The sleep just didn’t come and so, I just stared at the ceiling and began to think of nothing in particular.

Different words and thoughts flowed through my mind but only one caught my attention.


I began to ponder on the word. When I realized how pointless what I was doing was, I slept off. The next morning, I got up and rushed my preparation as I had to leave early for a programme I had to attend. When I was done with all my preparing, I left for the programme. I got there kind of early so all I could do was wait till it was time for the programme to start. I decided to while away time by taking a really brief power nap. As I slouched in my seat and closed my eyes, the word came again.


Again, I began to think about the word. After a really short period of thought, it hit me. What hit me, you might be wondering. The truth. That’s what hit me. The truth about sarcasm.

Sarcasm has different meanings. Most of the time, it depends on the context. It is, by official definition, “a sharp, bitter, or cutting expression or remark; a bitter gibe or taunt.” That’s how people with time for long story see it. Much of it is irony. For example, “What a fine musician you turned out to be!”. “This isn’t an office. It’s Hell with fluorescent lighting. ”

To some people, it’s an attitude. Attitude in the sense that a person can be ‘sarcastic’. Different people have their own perception of it; though most of the perceptions are similar. Mine’s totally different though.

To be honest, I’ve never and still do not understand the concept behind sarcasm. Why it exists and all. Then it hurts when I see people use it or do it (I honestly don’t know the verb to use for it) because I don’t get it. I’ve always believed that I hate it but how can I hate something I don’t understand? Weird yeah?

To me, sarcasm is just an excuse for lying. Like a lie that’s meant to be funny and mean at the same time. For example, my sister goes to school in the morning. Later in the day, I see her in her room and I go, ‘You’re back already‘. And she shoots back at me saying, ‘No, I’m still at school ’. That’s sarcasm right? Or better still, she’s being sarcastic? That’s how most people would see it. To me, she’s lying. Meaning she’s a liar, because she just lied. But no, you’ll say I’m wrong when I’m actually right. You’ll say its sarcasm when she actually dropped a lie.

I mean, it’s clear that she’s not at school but at home. What’s wrong in saying, ‘Yes, I am’. What’s the big idea in telling me she’s at school? Is she trying to be mean? Or funny? Some would say she’s trying to be funny, some would say she’s trying to be mean, another set would say she’s trying to do both at the same time. But isn’t all that wrong? Didn’t she lie? Let’s be honest.

Judging from that example, I guess it’s safe to say sarcasm is really all about lying. This in turn implies that irony is also lying. Isn’t lying opposing morals? Isn’t it wrong to lie? I know lying can make one look good while the real truth is not known but still, isn’t it wrong? If it is, doesn’t that indirectly make sarcasm wrong?

I’m not judging. I’m just looking at it logically. You don’t have to agree with me because I don’t understand it. I force myself to hate it because of the pain of ignorance about it.

I can further conclude that English opposes morals in its own way; with ‘irony’ and ‘sarcasm’ as evidence of English’s guilt.

That’s all for today people. This is just one of those things that come to mind once in a while. What’s your view of the topic? Let me know. (Comment).  Later folks. Follow @SeyiSoneye.