I like to plan. Or I like to think I like to plan. Or I like to think I like to think I like to plan. I think I plan?
Whether it’s making lists, drafting schedules, setting reminders and so on, planning is a major part of my life.
With every stage of my life, new things to plan come up. At a younger age, it was mostly trivial stuff (not so trivial at the time) but now, there’s a whole lot , most of which are important.
The next PS2 game to buy? Where I want mum to take me to next? What Enid Blyton book to read next? What lie to tell at school that contains the words ‘my cousin has’?
Quite trivial in comaprison to Career path? Relationships? Finances? Investments? Guilty pleasures to indulge in?
I must admit, it gets overwhelming. And if you’re anything like me, reviewing plans and seeing just how much you haven’t achieved or how far you still have to go does no good. It always ends in one having an existential crisis, or something close, mostly.
With age, reality begins to hit you. You’ve had loads of experiences, you’ve come across all kinds of people, you’ve been disappointed many times, you’ve been surprised (postively) many times, you’ve had good things you never expected come your way, you’ve had scares that made anxiety and fear almost kill you; you’ve had loads of experience. And one thing we do is we learn from past experiences. They shape us. They help us make better decisions in the future, sometimes bad decisions as well.
With all of this experience, that young, innocent, limitless-dreaming child in you slowly fades. I mean, you could still dream but there’s a part of you that unconsciously limits just how far you dream. And so, because of this, planning gets tricky.
You want to plan to do A, but you know A isn’t so realistic. It could be, but the chances aren’t exactly the highest. And so you plan for B. But there’s no guarantee B you will achieve B because a past experience with something related to it makes you wary of going ahead with it. So you make a plan C. Plan C, on paper, is perfect. You start to make little goals, and achieve them even in your journey to actualising plan(read dream). Then, life happens.
‘Nothing is sure in this life’. Something a friend of mine says a lot. It’s true, I mean, he’s right. We’re encouraged to dream, to hope, to believe, to hold on to faith in a higher power. But in the end, nothing is really sure. At least no plan is.
So Plan C. Life happens. The 250k you planned to put into a promising investment has to go to your mechanic because you got into an accident and your car is a write-off. You get your heart broken and it affects you on a spiritual level. You don’t have money. Some god-forsaken sickness that drains your entire being and pocket because bills; a devourer basically. You lose someone, or worse, you die. And my personal favourite, you put in a lot of effort, time, resources, hard work, smart work and life into something and it ends up going to shit. Random: Everyone and their mum says if you work hard, you will make it da-da-da-da-da. They swear that diligence and hard work are the ‘keys to success’. But hey, they conveniently leave out the part where you can work hard and smart and still have an endeavour not turn out a success.
There’s a potential good side to life happening though. It doesn’t have to always be negative. I mean, you could get a handout. You could be in the right place at the right time and run into the right person. Or the very best case scenario, Plan C goes perfectly according to, wait for it, plan.
Flexibility is something I’ve come to realise is very important. Being flexible and open to change(s) because newsflash, things may not go how you want.
I just want to be happy in this life. And I’m confident you want the same too. So why not plan to be happy?
While I may not have a specific point as this is just me – for lack of a better word – ranting, what I’m saying is
Plan… But *sigh*, I don’t even know