Adulting, a word which, according to OxfordDictionaries means ‘The practice of behaving in a way characteristic of a responsible adult, especially the accomplishment of mundane but necessary tasks’; according to a definition in Urban Dictionary means ‘To do grown up things and hold responsibilities such as, a 9-5 job, a mortgage/rent…or anything else that makes one think of grown up’.
Both trash definitions in my opinion. My favorite definition of the word however, of the same source as the latter in the paragraph above, is ‘Post adolescence when the light in your eyes fades away and dies’. Hashtag tears. What aptness!
Like myself, I imagine millenials —
(God I hate that word), a word here which means a dem.. Yeah, I don’t feel like going into detail; just know if your birth year falls within the range of 1982-2000 or so, you’re a ‘millennial’. By the way, I should mention that this whole thing would be more relatable for those that fall in the 1990-1997 birth year demographic — can relate with the ‘light in your eyes fades away and dies’ description.
Looking back, I feel like such a fool. As a young boy, innocent and full of joy, I hated being young. I wanted to be old. ‘I can’t wait to be an adult, I’m tired of being treated like a child’, ‘I can’t wait to be old and be free’, ‘I can’t wait to be…’ yeah, you get the point. What a naive naive goat! What an ignorant monkey! Many years later (now), when I think of the word adult/grown-up, first thing that comes to mind is, ‘this isn’t what I saw when I saw what I saw’.
So, scam. Adulting is a scam, if we’re being honest. While I’m not the biggest fan of the word, for reasons particular to frustration, I would not refrain from using it, albeit limited to the confines of this post.
I am angry with every adult in my life, from when I was a child, as should every millennial (yep, it is what it is). They listened to us go on and on about wanting to be adults and never for once stopped us to tell us the truth. Evil bunch. (I digress) In my parents’ defense though, there was a certain disgust and pain that appeared on their faces whenever I went on about wanting to be grown up.
What about ‘adulting’ is so bad? You’ve been going on and on, and you haven’t even mentioned a thing about what makes this ‘adulting’ thing a scam? I imagine these are questions running through your mind. And rightly so. My bad.
If I was told to make a list of things that make said term a scam, I would go on and on and on and on. But, no one wants me to go on and on and on and on soooo, restricting it to a few (very few) points, here we go.
Kicking off with probably the most annoying thing about it, SPENDING YOUR OWN MONEY. Yeah, I know we should be responsible for ourselves and stuff but… Why? Why should I spend my own money? Agreed, this wouldn’t be such a bad thing if said ‘own money’ was in abundance, which, for most ‘millenials'(that word again) isn’t so, unfortunately.
Growing up, my parents (and I’m guessing a good number of people) were on some Matthew 7:7 shit. Did I just use a bible passage and shit in the same sentence? Yup. So Matthew 7:7 is that passage that says ‘Ask and it shall be given unto you’. It says more than that but I don’t need the rest of the passage so. Parents were on that ‘if you want something, ask for it, we’ll get it for you’ wave. This was a good thing, a good style of parenting. It would have been better if this Matthew 7:7 behaviour didn’t diminish as one grew older. Basically Matthew 7:7 behavior was inversely proportional to your age. Not sure about the mathematical correctness of that but it feels alright. Don’t judge me.
Anyway, after this wave passed, most progressed to the ‘collecting money’ stage. We started to understand the value of money. Couple more stages after and we’ve arrived at this ‘independence’ stage. E dey pain, not gonna lie.
Another annoying thing about adulting that goes hand in hand with the previous point is PEOPLE STOP GIVING YOU MONEY. I need not say much about this really. Those uncles, those daddy’s friends, those aunties.. Suddenly, they stop giving you money. Funny story, one time after I had graduated from University, someone asked me ‘How is school?’ And I responded ‘Stressful, but it’s okay. I’m surviving’ because I knew he would give me money if he believed I was still in school. People of God, I got free money that day, Glory. What is shame?
My personal favorite thing to hate about adulting, life is a draggggg. Just like this post, which, wow, has been quite long, life becomes longgg. There’s this hanging pressure that makes you feel you should be doing more. At the same time, a counter feeling that makes you feel you’re still young and should take it easy. It’s a very tricky thing, handling it. You don’t want to give into the pressure of the former as it can make you cross that line, that line between ambition and inordinate ambition. You also don’t want to let the latter consume you as it can make you become lazy and lackadaisical.
My final point, RESPONSIBILITIES. The worst. This spans every damn area of your life. Finances. Relationships. Decisions. Health. Values. The way you handle everything changes. Relationships for example, you can’t act like a child no’more – Finances, well, I need not say much about that – Your values are tested occasionally – You have to be more conscious about your health.
All in all, ‘adulting’ is a scam. Let’s not get distracted, however. It is only a scam because it isn’t what we expected it would be like as kids. ‘..the light in your eyes fades away and dies’. So apt.
Whether we like it or not, it’s a compulsory stage of our life. We have to go through it. We have to accept that we are not children anymore and that being an adult comes with changes we don’t have a choice but to live with. The complaint is valid nonetheless. As is the pain and frustration. With perseverance, hard/smart work and good decisions, things (would) get better. Someday, we would look back and laugh at how much we used to worry.
All these words of encouragement don’t change the fact that this whole thing is stresss and I want to die sometimes, however, be not deceived. But (yeah I’m saying it), We Will Be Fine 🙏