Spent the last twenty minutes or so trying to remember my password. Shows how long I’ve been away. It would have been very convenient to lean back and enjoy the laziness and misbehavior that keeps me away from putting stuff out for your reading pleasure, but I was provoked out of semi-retirement.
Personally, Twitter is bants. It’s just jokes and play. This doesn’t apply to everyone as recent events have proven and I was not really understanding. Until…
So I’m scrolling, RT-ing and Lmaooo-ing at whatever was lmaooo-able. Recurring theme, ‘Men are Scum’. People are proper creative. I laugh at the jokes. Ordinary scum and some were catching feelings. So I’m laughing, enjoying the ‘men are scum’ tweets; then I come across this one tweet.
I was provoked. It was a simple tweet –
‘Men are scum’
@User673 wasn’t the first person to tweet that line, but she was the first person to tweet it and annoy me. Why? Because @User673 is mad.
A part of me feels I’ve told this story before but I don’t really care.
Back in Secondary school, I used to engage in the act of womanizing, albeit low level. I am not proud of it but I was in the world. Womanizing was a way of life. I couldn’t go a day without womanizing. Womanizing was my drug. I used to womanize in the morning, womanize in the afternoon, and womanize in the night. Even used to womanize in the dream. Sometimes, teacher would ask a question and to womanize would be what comes to my mind first.
This vice had me making some terrible decisions. I regret none of them, except one.
It was a good night. Night prep time. I was supposed to be studying but I was womanizing. It was high grade womanizing that night. In the process, a lot of noise was being made. This attracted the attention of the teacher on duty, Mr. Ozigagu. I do not remember much but I will never forget Mr. Ozigagu’s flogging expertise.
The girls I was womanizing with were the source of the noise. Mr. Ozigagu came into the classroom and demanded to know who was responsible for the noise-making. Beloved, if there’s one thing you should avoid in life, it is vagabondic friends. Goes without saying I had such.
In a bid to maybe, parrap impress the girls, one of my friends who was womanizing with me stood up and claimed to be the noisemaker. Another guy stood up and said the same. I noticed what I imagined to be adoration in the eyes of the womam and so I stood up too.
Mr. Ozigagu commanded us to come forward. We did and one by one, he started to bless us with 6 strokes of the horse whip each. First guy stepped forward and took all without flinching. The girls giggled. Second guy collected and flinched at the 5th stroke but went through with his session. It was my turn.
I stepped forward, ready to receive.
First stroke, I swallowed spit. My ass was clenched tightly and I told myself I was a hard guy. Second stroke, I screamed and scratched. Third stroke, I started to cry and begged. In the end, I took all the strokes and embarrassed myself.
How does this relate with anything? Well, it so happens that @User673 was one of the girls I was womanizing that night. I received 6 strokes of the horse whip on her behalf and she has the effrontery to utter the statement that ‘men are scum’? You mean I was scumming while receiving quality strokes(PHRASING)?
Dear Miss @User673,
PS- I have never womanized