Please Pray for my Bingo

It’s so cute. Many of you actually think I’ve turned a new leaf and will now be posting daily. So cute. Just kidding. I probably will…………………..not.

I’m alright now and re-resumed work today. This is basically my second first day at work. The details will bore you so let’s leave it at that.

Nothing much to say today. I just want everyone, religion regardless, to please, pray for my Bingo. It goes without saying that what I mean is, pray for my dog. She’s not sick, or dying or anything. She just needs a touch from the supernatural realm. Oh, and by the way, her name is not Bingo either  (And I won’t be revealing her name before one of you uses her name for money rituals). This family friend of ours had the habit of shouting (in Yoruba) “Have you locked your Bingo?” anytime we went for house fellowship back in the day cos the hosts had this wild lion they lied was a dog. Ever since then, I actually thought the Yoruba word for dog was Bingo so now I call every dog a Bingo.

So what is wrong with my Bingo, you may wonder. Well for starters, she doesn’t want to pregnate. I’m 100% sure that’s an incorrect word but trust me,  it’s the only word that can make sense here. Apparently, I learned that, unlike human females, dog females have/get/see (whatever it is) their period every 6 months. That’s a very long time to wait. Even longer when you know your Calabar friends are ready to pay you proper money cos apparently, dog meat is (supposedly) littt.

The moment we noticed she was bleeding, we quickly organized an arranged marriage for her with one wild, seemingly potent Bingo. I say seemingly because with all his muscle and ‘shakara’, the idiot couldn’t pregnate my Bingo.

You know what’s most annoying about the whole thing, our Bingo came back home, tired, weak and lazy. And so we imagined she had received signals and her body was multiplexing all the signals cos I know definitely that the other Bingo must have fired my Bingo multiple times. Turns out this our stupid Bingo was pretending the entire time. She got more food, more attention, more love, more special treatment since we thought she was pregnant.

Well months have passed now and we know she’s been pretending the whole time. Yes, she’s suffering a bit now but she deserves it. Next time, she will receive signals properly. Sigh, I actually can’t go on typing this whole thing cos it’s ridiculous to me, and this is coming from someone that has typed all sorts of…… well, you guys can testify.

Her craftiness regardless, I would appreciate if you guys find it in your heart to include my Bingo in your prayers. Thank You.


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