Death’s Diary – Page 2

Owing to the events that transpired exactly a week ago, I have been experiencing an unusual , uh, paralysis so to say. Ever since I lay my hands on that odd looking book with eerie content, at the most unexpected times at irregular intervals, I get this feeling inside me and I lose control of my body.
Just the other night, I was in bed, waiting for the sleep to take over me and all of a sudeen, I began to hear voices in the hallway. Curiosity got the better of me and I wanted to know what it was that was generating the sounds.
This was the third time it happened. The first two times, I ignored it and felt it was something that everyone experiences once in a while. But I asked around and no one else had experienced more than once in their life.
As I began to get off the bed, I realized I couldn’t move. I was conscious quite alright but I couldn’t move any part of my body. My arms, my legs, I couldn’t even about. But I could see. My eyes could see everything. Including the dark figure with yellow glowing eyes approaching…….

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One of the perks of being Death is, I get to have some abilities that are supposed to make my job easier to execute. One of these perks, if not the most important, is Invisibility. Yes, I can be in a room full of little children and they won’t even know I was there.
Like the average John Doe in the street, I love to have fun. And so, occassionaly, I go into the locker rooms of sportsmen and feast my eyes on some man candy. Girl just wanna have fun you know.
The other day, I was going through some files in my office and I came across The World War 2 file. Funny as it may sound, I really don’t know anything about World War 2. I trusted Confusion and Misunderstanding fully and let them execute the assignment with no disturbance or pressure.
I began to read through and I got to know some scary scary stuff.
It may sound odd, but I hate pointless killing. This is because I’m a creative person and the act of a human being dying should have a finesse to it. That’s what I believe personally. And so, someone just…dying…. That’s boring.
So, The Holocaust.
I’m stale, I know. But I have to say; That 👏 Is 👏 The 👏 Dumbest 👏 Thing 👏 I 👏 Have 👏 Ever 👏 Seen.
Okay, so let me try to understand. A group of people deem it extremely important to exterminate an entire ‘race’. Not race exactly but it sort of fits the part.
In case you do not know, the Germans felt they needed to kill every single Jew in Europe simply because they were Jews. Not that they offended anyone. They were just Jews. And so these guys rounded up the Jews in concentration camps and burnt them alive in gas chambers. Apart from this, they also had other ways of killing the Jews.
To be honest, I’m impressed. Cos burning people alive in gas chambers is one creative method of death.
The Holocaust story was intriguing and I was even considering giving my assistants, Confusion and Misunderstanding a raise.
And then I got to page 28 and the content of that page irritated me beyond anything beyondable.
So in all this Holocaust genocide pointless mass killing thing, some retarded human beings decided to actually use other human beings as test subjects for crazy experiments.
The most notable of these retards being Josef Mengele.
Man, you human beings are SAVAGES. You make my job too too easy cos you’re so so stupid.
So, this Josef individual would take people from the camps and perform experiments on them. He froze people, injected stuff into childrens eyes to try to change the color, amongst other disgusting, heartless things.
The one thing that annoyed me was this; like, take a look at this

image

I’m Death. I’ve seen some scary ass stuff but this is plain nasty.
Anyway Diary, I’m way too pissed to go on. This was basically the highlight of my day.
I forgot to mention; they never actually caught the Mengele guy. He actually escaped and lived his life.
I’ve sacked those idiot assistants in case you’re wondering.
Oh well, Diary, I’m just sick of humans.
Gotta go now. I have some lives to take. We shall see tomorrow 😘

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