So, picture this, you’re somewhere in Lekki Phase One, you don’t know your way around. And by somewhere in Lekki Phase One, I mean you and you alone, not you in a car. You’re feeling good because the reason you’re in this place is really fun and you’re having a good time. Somewhere along the line though, that inner voice is asking if you know how you’ll get back home but you shut it up cos okadas are ever present and one would definitely take you to a familiar place and you’ll go home from there.
All is well. Your mind is at rest and things are going fine.
The time to go home comes and just as you pack your stuff and prepare to leave, one unhappy woman in your village decides it’s time for you to feel bad and does the rain dance. And so, it begins to rain.
You aren’t fazed though. Ordinary rain can’t make you miss the battle between two funky football clubs that would be unleashing their respective pipes in the persons of Fal%@ and Gir%@+ that night. And so you begin to walk aimlessly, because you think you’re smart and can figure the way out.
Quite expected, you miss road and you’re lost. Again, you don’t panic because Google Maps is alive. So you ask madam google maps to show you the way and she does but she tells you you’re gonna have to walk for 40 minutes to the nearest bus stop.
A tear or two roll down your eyes as you know life shouldn’t be so hard. You wipe the tears off and continue walking.
Because it’s a constant in many estates, you believe you will see some okada man that’ll drop you off at your destination but rain made them all go into hiding.
30 minutes into the walk, an okada man stumbles by and you hop on cos you think you’re still far from your destination and the 150 naira he was charging sounded like it was worth it, only for you to watch him slow down and park, literally 20 seconds later.
Again, you no vex.
You get on the bus home and traffic is light, since you left early.
For some reason, that woman from your village feels bad that you’re happy and decides to blow sleeping powder on your face.
Sure enough, you sleep off.
Fast forward few minutes later. You wake up some 20 minutes later, only to see that you’re in a strange place you know not about.
The bus driver tells everyone to ‘bole’ and everyone does including you.
Knowingfullywell you’re lost once more, you don’t panic as Google Maps is with you again.
And so , you open Google Maps…
It’s been loading for 20 minutes straight…
You decide to check other apps just to be sure it’s not a Google Maps problem.
And then, you finally panic. Because you realize MTN is only letting specific things work for you.
BBM no work.
To send text message no work.
To call no work.
To open web pages no work.
Twitter no work.
WhatsApp no work.
But WordPress dey work.
Utorrent dey work.
Instagram dey work.
Apps that can’t help you .
And there and then, you finally panic. You feel hot liquid trickle down your pants, because fear.
Brethren , this is my story.
An hour later though, I got on a bus and I’m in familiar territory.
God bless Nigeria. God punish MTN.
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