The Most Confusing Day Ever

Hi Guys! I wish I could apologize for my brief absence. Mental laziness plus ‘nothing worth sharing’ happening recently are to blame. I’m a based on a true story kinda guy so when nothing fun happens, I have nothing to share with you guys. Just one of the cons of the job.
Luckily, something worth sharing happened not to long ago and I will be giving you a lowdown in a bit.
Now, this is just a mini story, very short and to the point so don’t worry, it won’t take too much of your time.
Before I proceed, I need you guys to understand that I have issues with adults that are not Yoruba. I can’t explain. It’s not a ‘tribalist’ thing though. I have many friends who fall in that category. Different experiences here and there are to blame but that’s a story for another day.
So here goes; Enjoy:

Sometime last week, a senior colleague at work, who I don’t really get along with called me to his office and told me he needed me to help him deposit some money at the GTbank branch close by.
I looked at my wristwatch and it was 4:37pm. While trying to explain to him that banks close at 4pm, in case he didn’t know, he began to shout some funky things in Igbo and since I don’t like wahala, especially wahala from people that speak languages I don’t understand, I carried myself to the bank, stared at the closed entrance for a minute or two, and went back to the office.
I was back in this guys office at 4:54pm. I close at 5:00pm.
After waiting for him to be done with his phone call, I explained to him that the bank was closed and that as every human being in the world knows, banks close at 4:00pm.
I was about leaving his office after returning his money to him when he called me back and asked, ‘Are you alright?’.


‘Are you deaf? Can’t hear me talking to you?’
When I came back to reality, I said, ‘Yes. No. I can’, answering all his questions. I’m guessing he felt that was rude cos he got up and began to shout in Igbo. I just stood there and waited for him to finish.
After about 5 minutes of him making noise and probably asking Amadioha to give him some wisdom and calmness, I interrupted him and explained that banks close at 4:00pm and that it is not possible to deposit money at 4:37pm.
He was quiet for about 15 seconds after I told him this. I thought he understood me, but no, he told me to take a seat and bega to preach to me about irresponsibility and problem solving. He went on and on about doing what you’re told to and making sure to do so with excellence.
The entire time, I just sat there and watched like


Cos I was confused. I couldn’t understand his angle. It wasn’t acute, it wasn’t obtuse, it wasn’t even right. And so for about 10 minutes, I’m listening to a confused individual, explain unnecessary stuff to me.
The whole thing got more confusing when this man began to give me tales by fluorescent light about how as a young man, he messed up an order he was given. I tried not to voice it out but I was thinking


I couldn’t stand up and leave so this was me battling with my understanding the whole time


He finally stopped and I regrettably uttered the following sentence, ‘But Sir, banks close at 4 and..’
That was the worst thing I’ve done this year people. Cos this guy got up and began to really rain abuses and curses on me.
In front of me is a man shouting in Igbo, but what I’m seeing really is


Eventually, at about 6:20pm, he got tired and allowed me leave. Man made me spend an hour and a half overtime. Sigh, I always knew


Throughout the rest of the day, I kept trying to understand where I went wrong.
The next day came and he didn’t say anything about the money. I knew he had not deposited it. It was 3:45pm and I was wondering if this man still needed to get this thing to the bank.
4:50pm came and I was already preparing to go to my house.
Just as I clocked out and opened the main entrance to leave, I heard the dreaded Igbo-adulterated-english voice shout my name.

No way I’m getting shouted at for having sense, and so I ran out as fast as I could and headed home.

Spent the next day in his office but that’s a story for another day.

The money has been deposited, if you’re wondering.

Yes, I lied about this being a mini story



6 thoughts on “The Most Confusing Day Ever

  1. I JUST CRIED!!! Your story is soo interesting and funny… plus I love the way you use pictures to explain…’I couldn’t understand his angle. It wasn’t acute, it wasn’t obtuse, it wasn’t even right’. I LOVE YOUR SENSE OF HUMOR AND DICTION! Funny enough, I CAN RELATE. You killed me mehn…I love it!


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