My Craziest Week – Part 2

Last sentence of Part 1, I said the day didn’t end there. Naturally, I should continue from there, however, I would leave that for the next part.

Today’s part focuses on the events of Thursday 8th January 2015. It was a day I learned a valuable life lesson I intend to live by till the end of my days.

So there’s this lady I noticed around the office since day one. But I didn’t want to try anything cos I wasn’t sure of her position or her age or anything and man can’t risk embarrassment. I won’t go into looks but she radiated this aura of confidence and independence I find really attractive; Miss Independent tings uno.

I was really interested in getting to know this ‘mystery’ lady and so I always forced myself to find something to do in her department just so I would be able to stare, observe, study and if possible hear her speak or hear someone mention her name. My mother would be ashamed if she saw how I lurked around Rib 😩

Two days into my personal FBI investigation, I got Rib’s name, office email, and some other information. Rib cos I have this pain in my side and I’m confident God took one of ribs when Iya Rasheed’s amala knocked me out some weeks back and made this lady.

I wasn’t satisfied; I needed one on one time, a chance to talk smart, present myself as a very mature responsible guy who just appeared in her place of work amongst other things.

My God remains wonderful and He answered my prayer.

On Thursday, I got to work very early, a little over an hour early. The way the office layout is, I have to go past Rib’s cubicle on my way to my department.
After trying to clock in and realising I wasn’t registered on the system yet, I made my way to my department, feeling slightly stupid.

On my way, as I passed by Rib’s cubicle, she called me and I didn’t believe my ears.

I took in a deep breath and walked towards her desk.

‘Hi!’, not Good Morning because the brain was overheating :(, and she said Hello. After about five seconds of awkward silence, she broke it and asked if I could help as she pointed to her laptop screen. I looked at it and I saw that she had problems connecting to the internet.

Small problem. Her LAN cable was out and the WiFi was acting up since the previous day.

This was an opportunity; I wasn’t going to plug the LAN cable in and walk away?? No??

And so I messed around the laptop a bit, checking unnecessary stuff like laptop specs, add and remove device while I initiated light banter with her.

I won’t go into details as some of the things I said took me a decade, some millions of dollars and connections in high places to learn. But in a quick summary, we learnt a good number of stuff about one another. Full name, interests,  we even reached into dreams and aspirations (trust me to drop some fire fake story here). It was all going fine and I was beginning to wonder where I got this slightly impressive; I mean, I’m probably below average in things such as that (Yeah, right :roll:) All this while I messed around the laptop knowing fully well I wasn’t making any progress.
It was all going fine until one of us mentioned age. I asked her to go first and she told me a gentleman doesn’t ask such to which I replied


When she realized I wasn’t going to say anything until she spoke, she answered,

I don’t know how to describe how I felt at that point but I remember telling her I was 25.

Topics to talk about were running out and it was almost 8am so I restarted her laptop and plugged in her LAN cable. The internet came back on and she thanked me.

On my way out, she called me back, took of her glasses and said, ‘Seyi, you know you didn’t have to waste all that time right? I noticed the LAN cable since and I’m sure you did too’.

The confusion was too much and I didn’t know when I said, ‘Sorry MA’

F-Up number 1.

Throughout the rest of the morning, I thought about all that happened earlier and cried internally.

Sometime in the afternoon, the man that was to register me on the system called me to his office. (He’s quite handsome, no homo)

And Rib was there.

I smiled at her and sat. The man told me he needed my details and I asked for a sheet of paper. Then he corrected me and demanded I give him my details verbally.

No wahala. Wowo British accent things.

Name? I answered.
Course of study? I answered.
Phone number? I talk am.
Account details? I gave him.
I turned towards Rib and smiled.
Date of birth? I replied, 21st October.
Then Mr. Man asked the one question I wasn’t expecting and definitely won’t want to answer while Rib was in the room.
I whispered, ‘Sorry?’
‘The year you were born?’

Rib was looking at my face.
I began to look around and that’s when I noticed the ring on her left hand. I also noticed the name ‘tag’ on the man’s desk and his last name was the same as Rib’s.

Iyawo ati Oko 😦

I prayed for the world to end.
After dragging for a minute or so, I answered, ’19….’
The man asked me to repeat.
‘I can’t hear you Seyi’.
I asked, ‘ Is this the last question?’ And to my delight, he said Yes.
So I finally answered clearly and walked so fast out of his office.

Rib looks at me funny and giggles every single time she sees me ever since then


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