How I got Woofed into the New Year

Happy New Year Guys! I wish each and every one of you a wonderful year ahead.

That being said, I shall be heading straight into my purpose for coming here today.

It is with overstressed and tired lungs I write the content of this post. You see, like every other sane person, I came into the new year hoping for the best and a way better year than 2014. When I prayed for God’s preservation, guidance and strength in the new year, I had no idea I was going to be needing each one of those three so early into the new year.

5:52pm, December 31, 2014

As is the norm in many homes in this part of the world, the whole family went to church to cross over into the New Year; you know, spent the final minutes and the first minutes of the New Year in church.  In my church however, our crossover service ends at about 10, 10:30pm. So we’re in the new year some hours the rest of the country. Church was alright; dancing, praying and all.

11:48pm, December 31, 2014

Few Minutes before the New Year

The ride home was smooth; mum’s stops here and there regardless. I wasn’t gonna sleep my way into the new year so I went to a friend’s house to game my way into the New Year.

12:07am; January 1, 2015

Mr. Man wasn’t home; apparently he had gone with his family for a crossover service. Disappointed and slightly frustrated, I embarked on the lonely walk back home. It was a fairly long walk so I plugged my ears and jammed Street OT.

You see, the way this estate I live in is set up, there are at least 8 strays. I’ve always wondered why but I never bothered to find out since they didn’t disturb me in any way.

The house finally came into sight. I sang the famous ‘Ese O Baba’ as I got closer to my destination cos this young man was getting tired.

Everything seemed alright; the moon was out; couple stars; cool breeze. You can say there was a calming feel to the atmosphere.

‘Goons Mi’ was playing I absorbed the nice atmosphere; na so I hear ‘woof woof’ somewhere behind me. Walahi, I thought it was some gateman’s ringtone or anything else. And then I looked back…

Brethren, the blackman blood is underrated. Some of us that are privileged to have it coursing through our veins have no idea how blessed we are. From what I have seen on TV, what I have learnt from Uncle Wale’s brown boerbull, and what I have read; one does not simply mess with these situations.

Fully upright, eyes red, tongues dripping with saliva, two sexy Alsatians were staring at me; really beautiful creatures.  Yes, the aforementioned strays referred to stray dogs.

2007, Jss 2, I remember when we learnt about proverbs. I remember clearly how Mrs. ICantRememberHerName listed twenty proverbs on the board. Number 6; Let sleeping dogs lie. Don’t take your classes for granted people.

However, in this case, these weren’t sleeping lying dogs, sadly. ‘Usain Bolt P’ was playing this time. With the daintiest of steps and pretend calmness, I slowly continued moving towards my house.

I could hear the barking get louder. That’s when the Blackman blood in me kicked in. I began to run. In all honesty, I’m eight hundred and two thousand and one and twelve percent I can’t run that fast if there was a million dollars to be won.

You see, explaining the events that transpired that morning would be impossible as all I remember was moving at unreal speed and scaling a high fence with ultimate skill.

So that’s how I got woofed into the New Year. Many thanks to big daddy up there for saving my life.

Happy New Year again and I pray none of you have a woofy™ year.

Amen.

 

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