My Topic game is weak. Smh
Some moments are evil. Surely, I’ve experienced so many; from an embarrassing moment to an awkward moment. I’m feeling really good right now so lemme share one with you.
Many years ago, I made my Dad really happy so he took me to Mr. Biggs. Every Nigerian knows Mr. Biggs is the realest. All these wannabe fast food joints can never be like Mr. Biggs brethren. They’ve been there for us since day one. If you’ve not eaten a Mr. Biggs meat pie, you don’t deserve the air in your lungs; but that’s by the way. When we got there, Dad gave me his wallet and told me to get whatever I want. I’m a very Yoruba boy so my Yoruba senses were tingling and I knew this man was going to beat the melanin out of my dark skin if I mistakenly attempted to over-spend, yes attempted. Before I go on, lemme inform you that my family is a cool one. Once in a while, we play pranks on one another. Like this one time when I lied to my parents that there was a fire and these people rushed home only to see that I was joking. I don’t need to tell you that my once black buttocks magically turned orange when the were done with me.
Back to the story. As I bounced into this Mr. Biggs outlet, I had calculated everything I was going to buy – 2 meat pies, 1 scotch egg, 1 doughnut, 1 7up, and of course that their funny hot-dog I personally enjoy that has onions in it. I got to the counter and ordered everything I wanted. The lady at the counter was slower than Turbo before he got his powers. After a full two minutes, the lady machined my bill and told me everything cost, let’s say 1000 Naira cos I can’t exactly remember the price. In my mind, I’m thinking, ‘Mstcheww, small money. Seyi you are not seizing this opportunity’ but hey, the stomach decides right. I dramatically open Dad’s wallet cos it’s not everyday a little boy has his own wallet with money in it…….. Guess?!?!?!?!?!
Only 200 Naira fam, just 200 Naira. I didn’t believe it so I checked all the compartment, holes, checked everything check-able but naah, it’s just the 200 naira that’s there. The cashier told me to hurry up cos I was holding the line. I didn’t want to go to the car and ask Dad why there’s just 200 Naira in his wallet cos I know he can decide we should just go home, so I boned up and asked the lady to return everything except 1 meat pie and the scotch egg. Careless moment number 1.
Funny how you think this is the moment I want to share with you. Careless moment number 2.
I was pissed, angry, disappointed, vexed, displeased, irate, irritated, cross, piqued, outraged, offended, heated, exasperated, I was multiple shades of angry. So I paid for my meat pie and scotch egg and angrily made my way out to the car park. I was already mumbling all sorts and rehearsing how I was going to throw a fit of anger at Dad; obviously it had to be PG cos I didn’t want no ass-whooping. Dad drove a black Honda Accord at the time. I loved the car cos the new car smell never left it.
That’s how I made my way to his car, opened the door, sat down and began to shout as I fondled with the meat pie pack. After about a minute of ranting, Dad didn’t say anything so I looked up to see why. Careless moment number 3.
Sigh. Guess again?! 100000 to whoever gets it right.
Hmmm… How about I do something really crazy here and ask you guys to keep guessing until I reveal in the next post? Naah. Or yeah, that’s what I’m gonna do. So there you have it, today’s 2nd post cos I felt like it. Have a great 2nd half of the week. School soon, again.
Don’t forget to tell me what you think happened. 3 guesses tops per person. Winner gets 100000! And I’m dead serious 😐
Lemme just drop this on my way out 🙂