Not Everytime One Direction, Sometimes More

Fadeke’s life is almost perfect. She’s beautiful, talented, smart, and a lot more. Born with 7 silver spoons, she never lacked anything. She doesn’t know what it means to want something so bad because the minute she decides she wants something, she gets it the next. Her parents are successful. Her father owns one of the largest manufacturing companies in the country and her mother is a Chief Magistrate. Education-wise, Fadeke is forever winning. International degrees from nursery school up to her 2nd Masters Degree, this girl can work wherever she wants. She’s always top of the class. After school, her successful parents had all the connections so she was spoilt for choice as to what sector she wanted to go into.
31 now, would you believe that Fadeke is jobless and manless? She has worked in over 25 companies as she gets sacked in less than a month at every one of the companies. Her parents are tired of making phone calls for her corporate life to click. And none of her relationships last longer than 4 months. Why?
With all the qualifications, ultimate riches, unlimited resources, unending list of connections, natural beauty, posh life, vast array of talents, Fadeke possessed a single flaw that rendered everything she had invalid and pointless- A very shitty personality.
^ This would have made a good story, unfortunately, that’s not why I’m here.

LOLOLOLOL This gif cracks me up so hard!! Once again, it’s not the reason I’m here either.

He who knows me knows I cherish Milo. I will do anything for Milo. Anything doesn’t include some things I’m too disgusted to type. I’m not here to tell you about my love for Milo.

We all get angry, don’t we? Some easier than others. Everyone has their own way of dealing with anger. Some don’t hold back, they let you know they’re angry almost immediately, them verbal attackers. Some treat your fuck ups with a physical manifestation of their anger (Flee from these people). Some snap their fingers, meaning they will do something worse as revenge. Some ignore. Some get so irritated, they drop you to a lower position on their tolerance level scale. I happen to be among the ‘Some’ that ignore.
Everyone works with the same principle when it comes to the topic of relationships. It’s like a rankings table where all our contacts assume a position based on multiple reasons. Like every rankings table, a new member has to work his or her way through the echelons of your table (lol echelons? I’m not sure I used it right there but maltina cares (maltina cares? People still say that?)). For some it’s easy; especially family and really nice people, for others, it is easier for me to obtain Kim Kardashian from Kanye West’s cupboard (Trophy) than for them to make any progress on the list. I could go on and tell you why I’m talking about getting angry and stuff or tell you about how this person that somehow assumed me and her were friends or ‘padi’s’ crossed the line, but I won’t. I don’t feel like. I don’t want to. And it’s not the reason I’m here.

Life is full of disappointments; from Dad not getting you Mountain Kilimanjaro even after he promised, to your so called ‘Bae’ that for some reason prefers Nestle Milo to you. But life has to go on regardless. I can list all kinds of disappointment, add some weird humor maybe and we’ll call it a day, but naah, it sounds like something someone has done before. So yes, it’s not the reason I’m here.

The Football leagues are starting this month! Yaay! Is that why I’m here, No. I am not working for them so it’s not my responsibility to create awareness.

Ahhh! Ebola! Disease outbreak in this part of the world?! I laugh. We have not finished struggling with NEPA, the fact that they don’t sell Dodo in KFC and the extra 20 naira I’m hearing they added to the price of Gala. I’m not worried, I am covered by the blood of Jesus. Doesn’t mean I’m shaking or hugging anybody though. Man can’t risk it. Scary something. Lmao I like the way Nigerians are making jokes about it. Even in crisis, we create fun. Good people. I made my own – ‘When will ‘di’ Ebola jokes ‘sease’. No one retweeted so I realized that the joke must have been multiple shades of wretched. *Sigh* That’s not why I’m here.

This is why I should always sleep early. Many words later and I can’t say I’ve made sense. But hey, it’s my life.

August already? 8 months already? Where is 2014 running to? Does 2014 think it is Blessing Okagbare? All those goals, the resolutions, right under our noses, time is going. A lot is happening this month; football leagues resume, I go back to school, that careless show some of you like, I’ve forgotten the name, I think it starts this month too, etcetera. I think this is why I’m here. To wish you guys a Happy New Month! Yep, I told you all that story just for these 3 words. Anyway, I have to go now. Sleep is slapping me. Cheers!


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