I should ask how your day is going but I won’t because I don’t want to care. Instead of beating about the bush before delving into what is really on my mind, I choose to go straight to the point.
I’ve been thinking about you. Well, not so much exactly considering the amount of distractions I’m surrounded by. Those few minutes at night, on my bed, just before sleep takes over, I think about you. When I wake up in the morning, I want to think about you but then I have to thank God for giving me life first. Without it, I wouldn’t be able to think about you would I?
I remember the first time I saw you. I remember the second time. I remember the third time too. You weren’t exactly what I’ve always thought I wanted. I really can’t say for sure what I want now but the first time I saw you, all my wishes and hopes, wants and standards flew out the window. I think the fact that you didn’t walk out of one of my dreams is what makes you special.
You probably won’t remember the first time we met. It was in CST, Hall 202. Same floor as the laboratory your programme is based in. CSC 121, Azu’s class. I sat at the back that day. Not because I wanted to but because most of the seats I wanted were taken. The class was going on, and then it was time to write. My pen stopped working and so I tapped you and asked if you had a spare one. That’s when it happened……. You turned around, Oh God…….. I only saw half of your face but I was immediately taken by your…..presence? aura? I can’t say for sure. I know I felt something. I really want to describe you right now but then I want your identity to remain hidden. This mystery belongs to only you and I. You placed the pen in my outstretched palm and continued writing whatever it was Azu wanted us to write. While I wrote, I kept thinking of who you were. This was my second semester in CU. We were, are in the same school or department or whatever it’s called and this was the first time I was seeing you. How could that be? The questions flooded my mind. I was brought out of my sort of daydream when Azu slowly walked to where I was sitting and seemed to drop a question for those of us in that section of the class to answer. God bless the person that answered because I would have made a big fool of myself if I was chosen to answer.
The class was over. I thought of talking to you but I couldn’t sum up any courage. I hated myself there and then. We had another CSC 121 class the next day so I felt reassured that our paths will cross once more.
The next day, I got to that class early. Not because I wanted to but because I wanted to see you. With a little calculation, some permutation and combination, I found myself sitting next to you. Bliss. Total Bliss. That was the first time I felt true happiness in CU. This time was almost different. I opened my mouth to say Hi but the words couldn’t come out. I tried hard and hard but I couldn’t make a sound.
We kept on meeting in CSC 121 class. I never said a proper word to you throughout that semester though.
I did my research and got your name. 8 letters. 8 letters I fell in love with. I looked you up on Facebook because I was desperate. I didn’t even remember my password cos it had been ages since I had checked there. I sent you a friend request. Every day CU Wi-Fi worked well, I checked to see if you had accepted. Two weeks later, when I was about to give up, you did. I was sooo elated. Thank you for ruining the happiness by not ever being online for a chat though.
During the holidays, I caught you online twice and said Hi. That was the only sensible thing I ever said there. Because after your replies, I found it hard to say constructive things. I remember this one time I asked you where you lived and then your answer was the most demoralizing thing ever. It didn’t discourage me though.
200 level, I promised myself things would be different this time. I wasn’t sure if you knew me but some awkward eye contacts later, I was sure you did. This year, well last year, but this session, Alpha semester to be precise, I said Hi to you once. I don’t know how it came out but I thank God it did. We still didn’t talk.
Have you ever looked into your eyes? It’s a very absurd question but I mean it. Dark, brown and they have this tiny sparkle in them. So captivating. So amazing. Almost alluring. I don’t think I can ever look into them and tell a lie. You’re so soo fair. Then there’s this hairdo you had on one time. I don’t know how to describe hair but I’ll try my best. Your hair was long. Significantly past your shoulders. You had it tied in a ponytail. The front was the really interesting part. You left one eye exposed; your left eye to be precise. Then a little hair covered your right eye, although I could still see through it.
Like the day I met you, you rarely overdo it. Light makeup. Never excessive. I like the way you wear nude lipstick. It makes me appreciate how unusually pink your lips are. You don’t try to be like everyone else. You wear clothes that work for you. Once in a while, you blow my mind by absolutely killing it on some of those Sundays.
Enough of the story. I simply want to thank you for making me know that you’re aware of my existence. I can’t remember the days for sure. The first time was normal. It was in the afternoon. Possibly 12:30 or so. I was outside the buttery, standing and listening to one of my friends laugh at me because I lost my iPad. I was really listening to him because I had both my eyes fixed on you. You weren’t looking my way I could stare as hard as I wanted. I flaunted a smug face while I stared. You weren’t mine but who cares?
Then that’s when it happened. I had taken my eyes off you for a minute and the next time I looked up, you were approaching the door of the buttery. I tried not to look at you but I couldn’t help myself. Three steps after, you were standing face to face with me. You didn’t stop but you did in my head. That’s when you opened those beautiful lips and said, ‘Hello Seyi’.
I actually thought I was dreaming. I was about replying but by the time I was ready, you were long gone. You made my day.
The second time was awkward. I was in the male toilet and you were in the female toilet. I was done doing whatever and I’m guessing you were too. And so, I stepped out and turned right, while you stepped out and turned left. This meant we were going to go past one another. I looked you in the eyes cos I’d developed this confidence over the months. You looked back at me. And just as we walked past each other, you said it again, ‘Hi Seyi’.
You made my semester. Thank you very much. I like the way you say my name because it makes me sure that you know I exist.
I’m not perfect. I’m not even close to perfect even though I joke about it at times. I’m not trying to be coy. I speak the truth. I might be in your friend zone, which in actual sense is impossible because of the obvious reasons. You might not think of me. You probably haven’t thought of me once. I don’t care. I’m satisfied with the two times you said my name. Boyfriend or not, that’s your business. Sorry to ruin the smiles but I hope you guys don’t work out 🙂 I don’t know what I feel for you but it feels good. I’ll wait for you.
I hope you’re reading this. I’m sincerely hoping you are. Just so you know, you’ve impacted someone’s life; and greatly so. One day, very soon, I believe we’ll sit down and have an awesome conversation. I hate ‘moistness’ and I suck at the romantic things of life. They’re funny to me. But I’ll gladly be ‘moist’ for you, anyday, anytime. I hope one day you’ll find me attractive. Till then, I will continue lying on my bed and thinking of what could be. I can’t wait to see that smile again.
Well, Uncle Shovel