Front of the Class?? No Way

Hey People! Rant Time! I’m going straight into this one. While I was still in Secondary School, the most disgusting thing in life happened to me and I made a promise to myself.

My story dates back to SS1 or Year 10. Back when a brother’s hair was never allowed to grow to combing level. I had just changed schools. First day of school, I chose a seat on the first row (to look like a serious student). The teachers were alright, the students were mad people, which is reasonable and expected, the classes were basic, nothing extraordinary.  The school was okay. Although I had practically ruined the rest of my life there by making some wrong decisions and a couple other mistakes in less than a term. I thought I was being technical and wise in my ways :(. Regardless, the school, or life in the school was cool.

One fateful day, I wish I noted the date, we had Chemistry. As usual, all of us that took the class would get ourselves to the Chemistry lab. Normally, I wouldn’t sit in front for that class cos the Chem teacher enjoyed asking questions and I despised Chemistry almost more than the devil. But that day, the force that destroys the male species, that thing God created out of man that knows how to mess with a man’s brain, that evil power, that evil known as WOMAN took over. There was this light-skin girl that took Chemistry. I think she was the only girl at that time. I don’t know what entered my head that day but I found myself really struggling to sit next to her in front.

The class started and I was seriously trying to initiate a conversation with her. We were guys o but this day, she clearly wasn’t in the mood to talk.  I guess she wanted to listen. Since things weren’t working for me, I decided to listen. Remember Mr. O, from the sly story? Well he’s the main character in this story. Mr. O was enjoying his class. The class was interactive that day so he felt he was making progress with us. I sat directly in front of him. The first 30 minutes of the class was interesting. But after that, boys began to crash. The class became boring as hell. It was a double period class so we were in for a serious dose of boredom.

I had already started nodding. But the sole reason I sat in front began to torment me. The girl tapped me every time I slept off. Long story short, since I didn’t want to sleep off again, I began to sing Akon and co’s ‘Beautiful’. I didn’t care about anything Mr. O was saying anymore.Before I knew what was happening, the man was standing right in front of me. I immediately stopped my singing. The man now asked me to repeat what he had just said. I was trying to be funny so I opened my smelly mouth and said, ‘Repeat what I just said’. Thank God the man didn’t knock my head. He asked me the question again and said he wasn’t joking. Because I felt I was Eddie Murphy, I opened my mouth and said, ‘My friend, Repeat what I just said  and I’m not joking with you’. Then the worst thing that can happen after something like that happened. My retard classmates burst into laughter. Their laughter clearly made the thing pain Mr. O. The man began t0 shout at me. i was blank so all I kept saying was ‘Emm, Emm, Emm’. I was enjoying my ‘Emm-ing’ and then something like this happened


The only differences here are: 1) he was the angry one, 2) the spitter, plus 3) he didn’t take his time to gather the spit, 4)  I obviously couldn’t hit him nd 5) I don’t have boobs.  You get the picture. I wanted to tear my tongue out cos I tasted his spit. They served Eba and Egusi in the cafeteria that afternoon and I’m sure I tasted the Egusi in his spit. The man went on with his shouting while I just stood with my face like this


After that day, I swore never to seat in the front of the class, well never directly in front of a teacher or lecturer at least. That’s all for today. Try not to seat in front of a teacher or lecturer. And if you really want to, listen so they don’t catch your off-guard with a question. Have and awesome day and Follow @SeyiSoneye .


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