How To Get That Guy Of Your Dreams FAST

Naturally, I should start by greeting you guys and giving you a lowdown of a bunch of crap you really don’t care about. Like how school has been extremely stressful, how my lecturers possess no atom of chill, how life generally has been making me change most of my plans, how I barely have any time for not-so-important stuff and all the rest. But this time, things are different. This guy is going straight to the point.
Sometime last year, I said a couple things concerning the lie that is ‘All Guys Are The Same’. If you haven’t seen it, check here.
This time, I’m shifting my focus to the women among us.
You see, by default, many girls have a problem of hiding how they truly feel for the opposite sex at times. Majorly because they don’t want to be called desperate and stuff. A girl can like a boy and no one would be able to tell. If she was a boy, she could easily walk up to the herself and tell her how she feels. Clearly, these girls need help so if you’re one of them or you know one of them, Congrats, I’m here to help.
If you read this and use it, I repeat, USE it, I give you my word, you will get that guy you’ve been eyeing for days, months or even years.

Número Uno
Yes lie. Lie, lie and lie some more. Most people don’t believe this. As silly as it sounds, it’s actually true. Lying is by far the best and easiest way to get what you want. Nothing beats lying. When you lie, you can change everything. Lying can make you look rich, or beautiful or whatever you want regardless of your true condition or state. But there’s a catch, when you lie, you have to lie with sense. You don’t necessarily have to drop extremely far fetched lies. Use your head. Make sure your lies have the right magnitude and direction. Don’t say stuff like, ‘I have an airport in my backyard’ or ‘Michael Jackson was a close friend’. Use your brain. Use your reasoning faculty. How does this relate to getting that guy of your dreams? S ee, when you lie to that guy or to his friends, you can look better and even more attractive to him. For example, if you let the boy or boys you have a crush on believe that you’re in high demand by some of the most attractive boys around, you seem more attractive to them. Make them think you’re rich, beautiful, famous, powerful and all.

Number Two
Do Not Be Yourself
This is by far the most important tip on how to get that boy of your dreams. I find it funny when people advice their friends to be themselves. It doesn’t work yo. NEVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER be yourself except you’re trying to get married. Imagine you’re a girl that enjoys wearing unattractive clothes and stuff. Ain’t no brother gonna fancy you the least bit. So the wise thing to do is to not be yourself. Wear nice clothes. If your face is not so…………. , a little makeup wouldn’t hurt. Bottom-line, don’t be yourself. Being yourself would never be as effective as not being yourself.

Number Three
Ditch the fake bad attitude
This point is one of the reasons why some girls will remain single till the year 2059. What part of having a bad attitude attracts that guy you like? In some cases, a bad attitude can make a girl look HOT. But then it doesn’t always happen like that. Yes, you can get a guy, but I doubt he would be the guy you really want.
Be nice, smile. Be approachable. There’s nothing wrong in being nice. I’ve heard people say stuff like ‘Boys take advantage of you if you’re too nice’ and ‘People would think you’re cheap if you’re nice’. All of that is BS. Like this

Number 4
Don’t play hard to get
I know, I know. This is probably the most controversial statement I’ve made so far. But wait, let’s gauge this bants. The whole point of this is to help you get that guy you like, isn’t it? Playing hard to get can be very sexy, yes. The thing is, the more you play hard to get, the longer you remain single. And I don’t think you want to remain single till the year 2059 like the bad attitude folk. By playing hard to get, you can attract that guy but the probability that you’ll get him fast is higher if you don’t play hard to get.

These four tips should suffice. Some of them may look dumb, fake and stupid, but let’s gauge this bants together, the whole point is to get the guy fast isn’t it?

Oh well, I believe and hope they work for you. Till next time.



Morning! Afternoon! Evening! Happy New Year! Happy New Month! Happy New Everything in fact! It’s been a while and I owe you so many greetings, so there you go.
Wow! 14 days into 2014 and it feels like it’s been a month. For me though. Anyway, I hope it’s been a good year so far. Making progress on those new year resolutions and goals I hope?
A lot has happened these few days. I can only thank God for even giving me the privilege of getting into another year.
To be honest, there’s really nothing specific to talk about. So I’ll drop a minute rant.
Did you see how my Barça brethren dominated that World XI? Chai! Were bad like that.
Oh yeah, I’m back in school now. Nothing extraordinary has happened so far. Everything’s the same, asides the people. Turns out most of us were touched by God during the holidays. Touched in the sense that our ‘bear bear’ is becoming quite visible. Err…by ‘us’ and ‘our’, I was actually referring to yours truly. What else? What else? Yeah, is it just me that has noticed that there has never ever ever been a boring episode of The Big Bang Theory?
With that said, I’ve come to the end of my mini-rant. I honestly pray and hope you have a great year. And of course, expect more from me. I have this indefatigability to be excellent at everything I do this year. You can now go back to whatever you were doing. I’ll simply go back to laying on my bed, depressed and crying now that Bieber has retired. Or has he?