Hey Hey! How art thou brethren? Ye better be good. A lot of really annoying things have happened to me in recent times and of course, there’s no fun in keeping them to myself. This would be hell of a long post if I squeeze all these experiences into one post and so I decided to make it up into a theme. If you don’t know what a theme is, your case is quite sad. But then you can google it anyway.
I’m calling this theme #TheDeathOfTheBigBoy. It’s a 5-part thing so expect 5 hilarious but depressing stories.
With that off my plate, lemme just rant a little and leave you guys.
Sometime back, le me was chilling at home. My sister wasn’t home so I danced all day to my happy playlist and enjoyed being alone. After two hours of dancing and performing to a mirror, I fell asleep on the kitchen floor. How I slept there, I don’t understand. I dreamt about a land filled with dodo and ketchup, best dream ever.
Anyway, I eventually woke up and checked my watch for the time. It was 9:23pm. That meant my parents were home. And my sister -_-. I saw my sister across the kitchen, doing something. I was surprised that she didn’t wake me up. As I got up, my stomach began to rumble. Man was hungry. And lazy.
I walked up to her and mindlessly said, ‘I’m hungry, make food for me’. As I turned around to leave the kitchen, she asked, ‘What did you say?’. Now, I wasn’t fully awake so my vision wasn’t perfect. Thanks to this, I did to see the shocked, wtf look on her face. And so I answered in a loud voice, ‘Can’t you hear? I said make food for me’ and then I hissed and began to walk away. Two steps away, I felt a tap on my back. As I turned around, a heavy IGBATI landed on my left cheek. My face was like


(For those who don’t know, an IGBATI is a mid-range hit which is performed by the swinging on the hand with your fingers spread out and connecting it with the face of a human being. In simpler terms, you’ve seen that Sharkeisha video yeah, that will give you an idea of what I’m talking about, but IGBATI’s aren’t as, but almost as devastating as that) Immediately, my vision became 20/20. I was about exclaiming in pain and then I saw the face. Turns out it was my mum.
I went to bed hungry that night. The End.

That’s all, Bye.
Follow @SeyiSoneye


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