Hello People! It just dawned on me that I skipped greetings in my recent posts. For whoever was upset by this, my sincere apologies to you. Anyway, today, I’m going to be telling you guys a story of how I got gboffed. For me it’s a painful story. Painful because I didn’t expect it to happen and the way it happened was….. Lemme skip this gist and go to the main thing. I should have posted this way back but I totally forgot about it.
My first time getting gboffed was in secondary school. I was in jss1 that time.
Lemme start by explaining what Gboff means. Gboff is a verb. It is an art. You can gboff someone or get gboffed. To gboff or get gboffed simply means to reject or get rejected. That being said, our story begins here.
One Saturday afternoon, I decided to go to my class and study a little (It was a boarding school). As I got to my class, I saw a certain girl there. She was on my seat, head down, scribbling something. I loved my seat and I didn’t like it when anybody sat in it. I walked up to her and tapped her. She lifted her head up and stared at me with the cutest dark brown eyes ever.
I opened my mouth to tell her I wanted her off my seat but the words couldn’t come out. She was so pretty. Her hair was short so I could see every part of her face. I tried to speak but nothing came out. So there I was, mouth open, just looking at a girl who looked back at me with such beautiful eyes. My face was like
After two minutes of awkward silence, I covered my face and ran away. I didn’t stop running until I got to another class that was far away. There, I sat down and began to think. And then I felt it. Something inside me began to stir. The only time I’d ever had that feeling was when my dad handed me a Nintendo DS for my 10th birthday. That feeling was love yo. I’d seen the girl around a couple times but not up close.
I immediately purposed in my heart to do whatever it took to get the girl. So on the spot, I took out a piece of paper and a pen and began to plan. I wrote every trick I knew. From giving her all my food to doing stupid things so she’ll fancy me for my humor.
When I was done, I went about asking seniors I was close to for tips. Remember Senior G?? He gave me tips too. Most of the tips the seniors gave me seemed farfetched and so I thought of the cheesiest thing ever.
I had this French-English dictionary I never used. I decided to use it to write a love letter to her in French. I brainstormed on the idea. When I felt it was going to be the perfect thing to do, I started my letter. Every free time I had, I picked my dictionary and matched up French words. Days passed and I was finally done with my letter. I finished it on a Sunday. My plan was to give her the next day in class and then it hit me…………………………… How was I going to give her? She probably didn’t know I existed.
I got on my bed and began to think of different tactics. I knew I didn’t have the confidence to give her myself. I thought of giving someone to give her but I didn’t want anyone to know about my feelings for her. I finally decided to slip it into her locker. Uncanny it may seem, but hey, I was young.
So that Sunday night, we were supposed to have a service in the school hall. I felt that was going to be the best time to plant the note.
That Sunday was seriously slow. I was wondering why God was making me wait so long. I didn’t know he was giving me a lot of time to think of the possible consequences of what I was about to do.
Night finally came. During the service, I lied to the teacher at the main door that I wanted to use the toilet. Once he believed, I ran to my class. It was dark so I felt my way to her locker, slipped the note into it and ran back to the service.
That night, after the service, I wanted to kill myself. I wasn’t sure I wanted her to see the letter but then I wanted her to know I liked her. I had a hard time falling asleep and so I spent the whole night thinking of what could happen.
Morning finally came. I was ready and dressed by the time the hostel gates were opened. I hurried to my class because I wanted to be there when she saw the letter. After about two hours of waiting, everyone finally came to class. (I didn’t go for the morning assembly).
She sat down and began to talk to her friend. I was just there, my heart in my mouth, waiting for her to open her locker. I almost shit myself. Finally after what felt like years, she opened her locker. The next five seconds were tense. Well supposed to be. Minutes passed and nothing happened. I was confused because I was sure I planted the note in her locker. And then it dawned on me………… I had placed the letter in the wrong locker.
The worst thing was that I put the letter in the locker of a particular girl I hated so much. My whole life played in my head. There was no way I could get the letter out because her locker was locked and she was there. The only way I could get the letter was if she opened her locker.
My plan was to rush and grab the letter the second she opens her locker. She finally opened it and the worst happened; she picked the letter and began to unfold it. Almost immediately, I sprang up and ran to grab the letter. She noticed me coming and dodged to avoid me. I hit her and fell, but she didn’t. So there I was, on the floor. And then she began to read the letter.
She knew French so she got the concept of the letter. When she was done, she looked at me in disgust. I smiled and concluded that I was going to pretend the letter was for her so she could give me back and I could re-plant it in the right locker. And then the worst happened.
As I got to my feet, she began to abuse me at the top of her voice, ‘Useless boy, the Lord and the hosts of heaven forbid. I can never like you’. My face was like this initially,
mainly because the letter was never meant for her. I tried to calm her down and explain that I was joking but she went on. Before I could do anything, everyone around began to laugh. I was so embarrassed. Everyone had watched her destroy me, even the girl that the letter was meant for. Sadly enough, she had shouted the content of the letter out so everyone knew what was in the letter.
I felt I had nothing to lose and so I grabbed the letter and walked up to the girl I liked. I started by saying, ‘Since that day I saw you on my seat, I’ve always liked you’. Then I gave her the letter. ‘This is meant for you’, I said, with the most dashing smile ever. I turned to return to my seat but I didn’t feel I had achieved anything and so I asked her, ‘Do you like me?’
The next words, word actually, I heard remains one of the words I would hate forever.
‘NEVER’. Sad enough, she shouted it at the top of her voice so the embarrassment was too sure. My legs wanted to give way but I stood strong. I forced myself to say, ‘Just read the letter’, to which she replied, ‘No, I don’t like you and I don’t think I want to like you’. I wanted to die when I heard this. All I could think of was
Now that I’m thinking of it, I sorta got double-gboffed. Oh well, Life goes on.
And this brethren, is my Gboff Story.
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