My Worst Week Ever

I’m skipping the greetings and going straight to the point. I’m simply going to be giving you guys’ random gist. Nothing specific. This week has been unfair. This post is long so you have to chill.

So on Wednesday, I hit the right side of my forehead on an iron rod and that part of my head got swollen. As if that wasn’t bad enough, a boil began to grow on the swelling. I’m telling you this for two main reasons. The main one being that I don’t want any of you who see me to think my head is actually shaped like that. The shape of my head on a normal day is actually sexy. Ignore the fact that it’s shaped like Shrek’s own now because of the swelling. So for those of you in my school, if you see any young man with a big juicy swelling on his forehead with a boil on it, that’s me. The second reason is that I’m convinced that one of you must have cursed me. And I want to beg you to cancel or undo the curse because the thing hurts.

So today, I am very angry with many girls. Those I’m friends with. You people are wicked. Who knows how on some days, you know you look so good and you just want people to notice. For guys, how you want the ladies to look at you and be really impressed. Well it happened to me every day this past week, except Friday. So this last Sunday that just passed, I was really jobless and so I decided to get all my outfits for the week ready (Yes, sometimes boys do this too). I picked four of my shirts, starched them well and ironed them. When I was done, I could see my face in all the shirts (Ignore the lie).

So Monday came. I woke up a bit early. I had enough time to get ready for the day. After I brushed my teeth and had taken shower, I went back to my room and began to think of what shirt to match with which trouser. I’d never really bothered about dressing to impress in the past but this time, I wanted to take it personal. I looked at my wristwatch and realized I didn’t have much time left. Being late for the math class I had that morning was not an option. Because I had to hurry, I absentmindedly picked a navy blue trouser and decided to wear it with a white shirt. I then picked on sick tie that was just too nice.

A few minutes passed and I was ready to leave. I spent a good two minutes looking at myself in a mirror and feeling like a boss. I waited for my friends as they finalized their preparation and a while later, we were off. On the way, I constantly looked around for any fine lady who I hoped would be admiring my look. The devil is really wicked o .I didn’t see any ‘omoge’. My course mates, the girls, might have looked at me that day but they weren’t the set of people I was hoping would scope me.

Tuesday came, and I killed it again. I made sure I walked around school/campus that day just so someone would notice me. As you must have guessed, no one did. I dragged myself to the cafeteria in pain and wished they had a really strong drink (like 95% alcohol) for me to drown my pain in. And of course, they didn’t and can never have such. I ended up with a 1.5litre coke and drank as I walked back to my room. On getting there, I was sad inside and so I simply played FIFA to take the pain away. I slept that night and prayed for the best the next day.

Wednesday was just the worst. No one even noticed. I was really confident that day but no one just noticed. On Thursday, I had to wear the last of the four shirts I had ‘beautified’. I didn’t care if anyone noticed that day though I hoped someone would. Well what do you know, no one did. That Thursday night, I slept late. This was because I used most of the night to think about how unfair life was to me the previous days of the week. I concluded that on Friday, I wasn’t going to stress myself.

On Friday morning, I wasted a lot of time. I did so because I didn’t expect anything good from the day. Remember I said the swelling and the boil came on Wednesday. I had ignored it on Wednesday and Thursday. On Friday (today), I gained full consciousness of it. I checked in a mirror and saw how bad it was. I was really depressed. The thought of how I looked with it made me feel bad. Especially because I hadn’t thought of it when I was busy wearing my ‘beautified’ shirts. I felt like ‘stabbing’ all lectures that day but I wasn’t used to it and so I decided not to. For those who don’t know, stabbing is simply not attending lectures or whatever.

After overcoming the depression, I forced myself to take a shower, brush my teeth and all the other morning routine. After all of that, I open my wardrobe and stared at it. I checked the time and I saw that I was already late. I hissed in disgust and didn’t care. I made sure I looked for the roughest shirt I had and wore it with the wrongest tie possible.

When I got to the lecture theatre, the lecturer was doing ‘bragado’ and didn’t let any latecomer enter for the class. In my mind, I slapped the man. After his class was over, I went in and looked for somewhere to seat for the next class. Most of the comfortable seats were taken and so I had to manage one wretched seat. This didn’t irritate me because I wasn’t expecting anything good from the day. So there I sat, with my rough shirt, ugly swelling with a boil and pained soul. The next class began and the lecturer was talking about Mark Zuckerburg, that Facebook guy. I wasn’t interested in anything she was saying. I was just angry. One girl passed in front of me. She had a good part of her breasts exposed and the thing just annoyed me. As I watched her go back and forth, constantly passing in front of me, knowingly or unknowingly tempting boys, I began to abuse her in my mind. I abused and abused and abused. For all you perverted folk, by abuse, I mean verbally and not sexually. After I was done, I began to feel bad for the girl. The things I had said might have made her kill herself if she heard me.

I’ve reached the part of the story where I let you know what made me say I was angry with my friends, the girl ones. Anytime I say friend after this sentence, know that I’m referring to a girl/lady.

When the class was over, I was about getting up when one of my friends walked up to me and said hi. I wanted to slap the girl but I just said hi and she began to talk. As she spoke, I was just boiling inside. I was really pained because I wasn’t in any way looking good. I mean, why couldn’t she have chosen Monday or Tuesday or Wednesday or Thursday? This day, I was looking like a poor, suffering man. That’s without considering my boil and swollen head. On the outside, I just smiled and the conversation finally ended. We said our goodbyes and parted ways.

As I left, another sexy lady I met during the summer began to walk towards me. I wanted to kill myself because I didn’t look presentable at all. She was the last person I would have hoped would see me in my current state. As she got closer, I was praying for the ground to open up and swallow me. I couldn’t try to straighten my shirt or hair because she kept eye contact as she got closer. I wanted to run away but I couldn’t because it would have been rude of me. And then I’d been hoping to see her for a really long time. She was and still is really hard to find so every time I see her, I have to treasure the moment. She finally got to me, I said hi, we had a short, brief conversation in which I said some rubbish and planned to meet later that night.

I almost cried when I thought of what she would have thought of me. Like if she thought I was a horrible dresser or if she thought I was ugly because of the boil. I simply thanked God that I didn’t see many of my other friends. As I was thanking my maker, I bumped into two close friends of mine. At this point, I was wishing I had a gun. I summoned up courage, said hi, and hoped that they didn’t notice my boil and poor dressing. The day went on with me bumping into many of my friends. It was a really embarrassing day for me.

Night came. I decided to go meet that sexy lady I told you about earlier. On my way to the place we agreed to meet, the devil made me bump into more of my friends. That devil sha. I wasn’t really pissed or embarrassed this time because the only embarrassing thing was my boil. When I got to the agreed meeting point, the girl wasn’t there. I was about 10minutes late and so I wasn’t surprised that she wasn’t there. I prayed and hoped that she wasn’t pissed at me. With a little bit of sadness and a feeling of being ‘slyed’, I walked back to my hall. Again, I bumped into more friends.

When I got back, I just sat and thought about my life. Why I had the boil? Why it was on the day I looked bad that most of my friends appeared? What I had done to deserve all of it? The night ended with me writing this post. As I said, this week has been unfair. I have a day left in it and I hope it would be a good day.

Moral Lesson – Life doesn’t always go how you want.

To the girl I was supposed to meet, I’m sorry I didn’t show up.

I hope you guys enjoyed reading this. Stay Safe, Pray against boils, look good at all times and don’t forget to follow @SeyiSoneye.


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