Serious Joke

Greetings whoever or whatever you are. How’s your life?? Naah, don’t answer, its your business. Who gets the oxymoron title? So I just remembered I haven’t introduced myself. My sincere apologies. My name is Seyi. But nobody calls me that :(. Most people call me by my last name. My dad calls me ‘Bobo’. My mum has different names for me depending on her mood. My sister calls me ‘guy’. My friends call me ‘Shovel’ (I have no idea where it came from). Few nice people call me ‘Seyi’. You can call me ‘qwertyuiop’. I’m a boy or male for those who don’t know what a boy is. I can’t say I’m young because my age is a double-digit number and i can’t say I’m old because my ‘bear bear’ has not come out yet (that’s Nigerian for ‘beard’)

Moving on. Just so you know, the title has nothing to do with anything that follows :).
So yesterday, I was scrolling through twitter. Just scrolling, reading, judging. And then one tweet caught my full attention. Someone was like ‘NowPlaying – Turnt up’. At this point, I was like ‘DAFUQ IS THIS ONE TALKING ABOUT????’. I wasn’t sure whether to question whoever recorded its’ thoughts or the kind of education my guy was getting. Then I googled the song and it was by Lil Twist and Busta Rhymes. whaaaaaaaaaat? I expected it would be one young boy struggling to get into music.

Please, what is up with everyone trying to get into music these days? I’m not saying it’s wrong but if you want to, do so in style. My Nigerian bobo’s just kill it. The struggle to get into the industry is too tough. Okay, even if you want to enter, at least use a sensible stage name. That stage name thing is just too painful. Like Is it compulsory to put ‘lil’ ‘yung’ ‘kid’ in yo’ name? That’s how I heard that ‘KidFlakes’ is one guys stage name. KidFlakes brethren, Kidflakes. What is that?? Like sir, your record label na cereal? (Do laugh) Then there’s the ‘zy’ suffix. For example, ‘wizzy’ ‘breezy’ ‘bobzy’ ‘davidzy’ ‘ayozy’ ‘orezy’ ‘ewazy’ ‘ronaldozy’ ‘messizy’ ‘obamazy’ ‘osama bin ladenzy’. I should probably change my name to ‘Seyizy’. And the ‘sick’ one too. Like ‘flowsick’ ‘lilsick’ ‘barsick’ ‘verysick’ ‘soosick’. Kindly visit a hospital if you’ve got sick in your name.

Then the most pressing problem is how most ‘artistes’ are always talking about meaningless things in their work. I shouldn’t complain about that one though because its clear the ‘fans’ don’t really care about the lyrics. They just want ‘danceable’ music. (I think I should record something too). The way things are going, some people will remain ‘upcoming’ till they retire.
That turnt up thing still bothers me. I listened to the song though and its okay.

So far, it seems I’ve been talking on music but I actually want to talk about ‘English’. When I was younger, english was a serious something. Words meant what they meant. But now 😦 the whole thing has scattered. From what I know, ‘turn up’ was used when the volume of a radio or tv was being increased. Now in real life, turn up has nothing to do with volume. Another one is ‘thirsty’. On a normal day in the past, thirsty had to do with craving water. Now it’s not the same. Saying ‘thirsty now has nothing to do with water most of the time. Banana is no longer a fruit. It’s hard to say you’re eating a banana without people taking it sexual. 😥
Then there’s the abbreviating thing. Sometimes I’m texting someone and they reply with something like ‘I hvnt rly tht it thru bt I tnk it shd b vry scsfl n I rly tnk ur strs r 4ne’ -_____________________-  :s What is that?? Is there a problem with your brain?? It’s too painful yo. It won’t hurt to type in full or at least, make your abbreviations more understandable.

Many times, I’ve tried to pray for this world but it seems God is still waiting for the perfect time to grant my request. Oh well, I’d keep waiting.
This generation is too special . We need serious help. There’s still hope. Let’s just wait, hope and pray.

Again, I don’t care if you didn’t enjoy this. I am not a care bear. -_-
Follow @SeyiSoneye

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