Days 9, 10, 11, 12 And 13 Because I Like Stress

I’ve missed a couple days of the 30 Day Writing Challenge I’m doing. Rather than ignore the missed days, I’ve decided to incorporate every one of the missed prompts into this single post. Challenging, but I’m Superman soo

Prompt:

Day 9: Your last kiss

Day 10: Your views on drugs and alcohol

Day 11: Your current relationship

Day 12:Things you want to say to an ex

Day 13: A date you would love to go on

***

I remember us sitting on my bed, his arms around me, comforting me. He was the only one I had and so I told him everything. He was my best friend.

He told me it was okay to cry, to be sad, to feel how I felt. We we’re talking about Yusuf and I had just shown him the letter Yusuf had just sent me.

My dad was my hero, he was my everything. He wasn’t spectacular, neither did he have super powers; my hero regardless.

Somehow, we started to talk about mum. We almost always ended up talking about mum. He would cry.

~~~

I cannot sleep

~~~

I hate psychedelics, a lot. I despise anything that alters reality. While there’s a little religious angle to my reason, the bulk of it is based on the effects they have had on people I care about. One uncle, and her; mum.

~~~

Mum was a junkie and a drunk. How she got into it, I never knew. Dad and her kept it from me. Her narcotics addiction was tolerable as she, well, relative to the drinking, kept it at a sane level.

She would go out and return home reeking of alcohol. Dad tried his best but could never get her to stop.

I remember the day we lost her. She died that day and a part of me died.

Mid term break. It was around 6:30pm when mum decided to ‘go out’. I knew she was going to drink. She had come to my room where she kissed my forehead and said she would be back soon. Before Yusuf, this was my last kiss.

Mum never returned.

On her way back, while crossing the road, she made a very terrible mistake. A truck was approaching, headlights bright. ‘Look at these two okadas, I will pass their middle. Awon ode’, she had said.

You can guess what happened next.

I never saw her corpse, didn’t go to her burial either

~~~

Dad’s world crumbled. As did mine. We only had each other now. I like to think losing mum was the turning point in our relationship. We had always been cool, but now, we were close. He was my best friend.

~~~

Dear Chidinma,

– Yusuf, what have you done? I think to myself –

I know I have wronged you, Chidinma. I understand how you feel. But I swear to you, I didn’t think you would interpret it as this. You know I wouldn’t do such a thing to you.

Forgive me.

I don’t want this to be a letter to my ex.

Love, Yusuf

~~~

My dad read the letter and embraced me even harder. I couldn’t tell him what exactly had happened and he understood. He didn’t badger. He told me he trusted me.

Dad loved telling me stories from his childhood. They always cheered me up. He held my hand and told me the story about the last time his mum whooped his ass. I loved that story and I had heard it a million times, yet, I never failed to laugh. We both laughed between sniffles because he liked to pretend to cry, for effect; made the story better.

And then he started coughing. Laughing triggered it. His disease. His sickness. The cough was a friendly reminder that he was dying.

~~~

I reasoned with Yusuf. I knew he loved me and would never hurt me, and that I could always feel safe around him. 2 years later now and we’re doing fine. We just came back from Obudu Cattle Ranch in Cross River. I had always wanted to go on a date there. We’re happy.

~~~

Dad is gone, by the way.

Orphaned.

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Day 8 – Dear Bet9ja, Your Real Dad

Prompt: Day 8 – Something you’re currently worrying about

***

More lamenting than worrying but there’s no denying that this is something that gives me headache. I have one question, Why?

Betting is satanic, unfair and heartbreaking. More specifically, Bet9ja.

Let me tell you guys a story about a fictitious guy and his fictitious venture into sports betting.

This is not a true story or based on real events or the author’s own experience.

~~~

It all started when said guy was alright, alright financially. He wasn’t rich but said guy could afford 3 meals daily and the occasional indulgence in random cravings. Said guy could do with some extra cash and so he decided to try his hand with sports betting.

Enter Bet9ja.

It was a dream start. At least, in comparison with the experiences of many like him, his start was impressive. He inevitably lost some money, a couple hundreds of naira, and a thousand or two. This was decent considering said guy won some money. 6000 naira approx. on 3 different occassions. 2000 twice. He wasn’t greedy so he never bothered with ‘Hollywood’ slips, you know, those bet 100 naira to win 20 million types.

Everything was going well, until….

It all started on a certain Saturday. Said guy had played a slip, 5 games. He was going to win 16,000. He really was. At least he thought he did, until, a certain Spanish futbol club, Real Madrid, decided to draw with (relatively) minnows, Levante. At home.

Said guy cried.

He took it like a champ and moved on. Said guy waited 7 days before betting again. At the end of the 7 days, he played another slip. This one looked sure. 500 to win 22,000. A longshot by his standards but YOLO.

This particular slip didn’t even deceive said guy. Slip cut from the game.

Said guy cried again.

The final straw would come when said guy got stirred up in his spirit and swore he was going to win this time. LOL, he must be thinking right now.

God has to punish a certain club in Turkey. 22nd September, 2017; the date. Said guy had played a slip for the weekend on a friday and had included one game that was to be played that night. Slip looked good. They always look good , lol.

Our guy felt confident. He even went out to play with his friend that had come over for the weekend. Before they headed out, said guy checked the scores of the friday match.

30 minutes, 3-0.

The team he predicted would win was leading a whole 3-0, an entire 3-0. Lit.

Said guy was elated. Game ti wole.

That was the last time said guy bet.

Imagine his shock when he checked scores an hour later and saw this

Day 7 – Oh, Uche

Prompt: Day 7 – Your opinion on cheating on people

***

I don’t see myself forgiving Uche. It’s easy for people to beg me to, but I promise you, if they were in my shoes, they wouldn’t.

Uche was the first person I ever loved. Growing up, I wasn’t one to get myself into relationships, or even generally having attachments to people. I had friends, quite alright, both guys and girls, but there never was a case where you could say I was closest to this person, or this person. Contributing to that undoubtedly must have been the fact that I was ugly. At least I thought I was.

Being honest, I was really really ugly. There was no denying it. But Uche, Uche made me feel like the most beautiful thing God created. Uche swore I was the most good-looking human being alive, and I believed Uche, because Uche meant it. Couple this with how well Uche treated me and it’s easy to understand why I fell for Uche so easily. Call me gullible but that was how much game this individual had.

We had loads of conversations, spanning all kinds of topics. I remember this one time we discussed cheating.

I wish you were there. I wish you got to listen to the things Uche said. Solid points. Solid and, well, in tune with what I thought about the topic so it was a very worthwhile conversation.

It does not make sense to genuinely love someone and do anything that would hurt them, or do anything you know they do not like. This covers both the little things and the relatively big ones. You cannot claim to love someone and betray their trust.

People make excuses like ‘it is what is is’. ‘One person is not enough’. ‘It was a mistake’. ‘I don’t know what came over me’ to name a few. All filthy excuses in my opinion. Oh, and the most ridiculous, ‘Mens needs are insatiable. One woman cannot..’ Boy If You Don’t.

As I said, Uche and I shared the same views on cheating -(wrong, if you didn’t get it)- and so, it came as a shock to me when I found out she watched the Game of Thrones season finale without me.

I mean, I know we’re a lesbian couple but still.

Day 6 – Yejide

Prompt: Day 6- The person you like and why you like them

#30DayWritingChallenge (I’m starting from Day 6, deal with it)

***

Cliché, but the first time I laid eyes on Yejide, I felt something. I knew there was no way she wasn’t going to be in my future. Present now, but future at the time.

It was unexpected. I was seated at a restaurant called ‘Paris’, waiting for a friend. We had not seen for a while and we had agreed to meet up. I wasn’t even there to meet Yejide.

From the corner of my eye, I noticed someone literally appear out of nowhere. I could swear she materialised from thin air. I turned and saw her. Yeah, this one is going to be in my future.

Months later now, and, well, safe to say Yejide ti get mi.

There’s so much I like about Yejide. And many more reasons why I like her.

Yejide is an ISTJ. She’s a psych major so personality types mean a lot to her. I like how she tries to sprinkle psych related content into everything.

I like her because she lets me be myself around her.

I love the way she pronounces the letter ‘r’ slightly differently with a little drag. So cute.

Kinda want to list every reason why I like Yejide. Kinda don’t.

Oh, she calls me YumYum 😊

Plan to be Happy

I like to plan. Or I like to think I like to plan. Or I like to think I like to think I like to plan. I think I plan?

Whether it’s making lists, drafting schedules, setting reminders and so on, planning is a major part of my life.

With every stage of my life, new things to plan come up. At a younger age, it was mostly trivial stuff (not so trivial at the time) but now, there’s a whole lot , most of which are important.

The next PS2 game to buy? Where I want mum to take me to next? What Enid Blyton book to read next? What lie to tell at school that contains the words ‘my cousin has’?

Quite trivial in comaprison to Career path? Relationships? Finances? Investments? Guilty pleasures to indulge in?

I must admit, it gets overwhelming. And if you’re anything like me, reviewing plans and seeing just how much you haven’t achieved or how far you still have to go does no good. It always ends in one having an existential crisis, or something close, mostly.

With age, reality begins to hit you. You’ve had loads of experiences, you’ve come across all kinds of people, you’ve been disappointed many times, you’ve been surprised (postively) many times, you’ve had good things you never expected come your way, you’ve had scares that made anxiety and fear almost kill you; you’ve had loads of experience. And one thing we do is we learn from past experiences. They shape us. They help us make better decisions in the future, sometimes bad decisions as well.

With all of this experience, that young, innocent, limitless-dreaming child in you slowly fades. I mean, you could still dream but there’s a part of you that unconsciously limits just how far you dream. And so, because of this, planning gets tricky.

You want to plan to do A, but you know A isn’t so realistic. It could be, but the chances aren’t exactly the highest. And so you plan for B. But there’s no guarantee B you will achieve B because a past experience with something related to it makes you wary of going ahead with it. So you make a plan C. Plan C, on paper, is perfect. You start to make little goals, and achieve them even in your journey to actualising plan(read dream). Then, life happens.

‘Nothing is sure in this life’. Something a friend of mine says a lot. It’s true, I mean, he’s right. We’re encouraged to dream, to hope, to believe, to hold on to faith in a higher power. But in the end, nothing is really sure. At least no plan is.

So Plan C. Life happens. The 250k you planned to put into a promising investment has to go to your mechanic because you got into an accident and your car is a write-off. You get your heart broken and it affects you on a spiritual level. You don’t have money. Some god-forsaken sickness that drains your entire being and pocket because bills; a devourer basically. You lose someone, or worse, you die. And my personal favourite, you put in a lot of effort, time, resources, hard work, smart work and life into something and it ends up going to shit. Random: Everyone and their mum says if you work hard, you will make it da-da-da-da-da. They swear that diligence and hard work are the ‘keys to success’. But hey, they conveniently leave out the part where you can work hard and smart and still have an endeavour not turn out a success.

Life huh.

There’s a potential good side to life happening though. It doesn’t have to always be negative. I mean, you could get a handout. You could be in the right place at the right time and run into the right person. Or the very best case scenario, Plan C goes perfectly according to, wait for it, plan.

Flexibility is something I’ve come to realise is very important. Being flexible and open to change(s) because newsflash, things may not go how you want.

I just want to be happy in this life. And I’m confident you want the same too. So why not plan to be happy?

While I may not have a specific point as this is just me – for lack of a better word – ranting, what I’m saying is

Plan… But *sigh*, I don’t even know